Walking through the desert

There I was, a man lost in the middle of the desert. Alone, unable to share the pain and sadness with anyone else. Each step hurt, hot sand burned more and more as days passed over. When did it start? When did the green, fertile and vegetated soil had became inert hot sand? I tried my best, but I wasn't able to remember, to identify the exact moment and yet, there I was.

The sand became hotter with days and so did the Sun, burning my skin and going deeper, reaching my soul, my soul was slowly burning, my soul ached. The former cool breeze turned into an irregular flaming dust whip, hitting me from all directions, and making impossible to open my eyes. Where was I? How did I get there? What had I done to deserve that? How am I going to leave this place? I wasn't able to see, to gather any information from the environment, I believed that the pain was going to last forever and no hope remained, but yet, there I was.

At that point, I was desperate, living in agony. I cried, but no tears came along, I was thirsty, almost dehydrated. While the anger was rising, I started punching the air with my hands, uncovering my face and falling over and over. At some point, I even opened my eyes in a useless effort to see where all that was coming from. Completely counterproductive effort, that ended up hurting me much more and frustrating me in the same proportion. There I was, hopeless, angry and completely defeated and yet, there I was.

In a moment of clarity, I was able to understand how senseless the anger was and that I needed to change my strategy if I wanted to survive. An epiphany, it wasn't about wining, it was all about surviving. I cleaned my hands as much as possible, used them to cover my face again and started walking straight, I was focused in walking through the desert, focused on surviving. The wind keep blowing but since I wasn't fighting against it no extra pain appeared, it was all the same pain, but I was not focused on it anymore. I was focused on surviving and nothing else mattered to me, there I was.

I was walking, exhausted, I could barely open my eyes and, miraculously, I saw it... An Oasis, was that real? or just a threat of my disturbed mind? I wanted to figure it out as soon as possible. I deep breathed and speeded up my steps, I fell two or three times but I was determined to reach that place, I had to. When I first touched the water, and realized it was real, I couldn't believe my luck. I drank as much water as I could, I cleaned my face and then I realized not only water was dripping from my face to the small lake, but also salty tears. I was releasing all the accumulated pain, all the suffering, everything... All that awful time was flowing out from my eyes and returning to the lake, it was life going through me, feeding and cleaning me. I rested for a moment, I took a bath and looked back for a while. I could see a huge path that loose on the horizon. Some steps closer to the end, there I was.

The Oasis was what I was looking for, not a victory but a place to embrace life again, to clean my soul, to recognize and accept my previous path. It was a moment to feel alive again. Most important, it was a moment to understand that there was no way back, it was time to move forward. And so, there I was... but not anymore.